I feel down, as if i'm fading into darkness. Swirling around in nothingness, twisting and turning.

Trust. what exactly is it?

To not trust someone, its difficult.
To not be trusted by someone, its much more difficult.


My emptiness shall reside in the shell devoid of emotions.

If only I could, I'd give anything for a sense of numbness around me.
I'd give my life in exchange, to just have that little bit less sensitivity and the complicated mind. Anything, just anything.
Anything to strip me of my emotions right here, right now.

or perhaps my only sanctuary is my bed. perhaps my bolster would be the only thing i can hug while my tears flow, perhaps my shirt would be the only thing that can wipe my tears away.

Perhaps, its silly to feel down over such things many people would deem minor. Perhaps its just me. Or was it you? Did you lie to me, or did somebody else lie to you? Stop letting out your secrets if you think you can't trust me. Stop starting your sentence and suddenly not say it, because you can't trust me. If you can't trust me because I might have let out something two years ago (in a case where you can't even remember what it was), then stop letting out secrets you're supposed to keep. and later on ask me to stop asking anything.

Its so simple. Somebody tells you a secret, you tell it to me. I might or might not have spilled the beans. But hey, who was the first one in the chain? Would the chain of dominos topple if the first one hadn't been hit? If i'm wrong, i'd be more than glad to listen. Misunderstanding is always the first thing that leads to conflict. I don't want any conflicts in my life. please.

Doesn't this contradict my previous post?